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Resident John Deere Tech
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hey Guys and gals, I got a request........

A bit of background here, there's this girl that I have been interested in for the past 4-5 years, and it seemed like we hit it off pretty good back then, but we hardly ever saw eachother more than 4-5 times a year.....just good freinds..........well, about 2 years ago she started being really "stand offish".......we used to hug every time we saw eachother, etc.......but all of a sudden she was totally different about it........all of a sudden she didn't want anyone touching her.....no hugs no nothing.............not even a pat on the back or a hand on the shoulder.......

Fast forward to today.......I found out why that happened tonight...........she told me that 2 years ago, she was molested 3 times by a guy at her school............it really traumatized her emotionally.........she is constantly afraid of it happening again........

So, my prayer request is that she would be able to live her life without the fear of being molested, and that she wouldn't be so stressed out, and that the mental and emotional wounds would heal.......

She is a really good freind to me, and I really care about her, and I hate to see her the way she was while explaining everything to me tonight........she should have never had to endure that sort of treatment, and it was really hard for her to even open up to me and tell me this.......I could see that she was really emotionally scarred from this...........

Thanks guys and gals!
 

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Always Learning
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I read this as a prayer, I'm very sorry for her, and your, loss of friendship, and hope her wellbeing heals, along with her heart and soul, lead her to god any way possible, and may he be generous to her and you, I hope the sees the diamond underneath all the grease on you, and realizes what a true friend you are, and you might get lucky and start a relationship with her, and may your futures be bright. You are very sweet to her, and brave when she may not be, I encourage you to be with her every step of the way, and a happy future, with little kids, might just be coming, with hope, Dane.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Thank you Dane!

At this point, we have agreed if there is going to be a relationship beyond freindship, it won't be for another few years........she is a few years younger than me, and I need to save up some money to be able to support a relationship......

Again, thank you for the kind words!!!!!
 

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The Magnificent
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Prayers sent for her recovery.

If you are close enough to discuss it, she needs to get help. Often, this stuff goes unreported, and that just further scars the individual.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Well, she had kept it quiet for a few months, until her freinds at school started noticing certain things,like she wouldn't eat anyrthing at lunch, she seemed scared whenever the guy was around, etc......so they came to her and said what's going on, and don't lie to us........then she told them, and they took the appropriate measures, and helped her and consoled her...I think she waited this long to tell me because she knows that I really care about her, and I think she was worried that I wouldn't "want" her anymore, which couldn't be further from the truth!!!!! I love her dearly, and there is nothing that would change that!!! After she told me this, we prayed together for restoration, not only for her, but for a change in the heart of the guy that did this to her......that wasn't easy........its never easy to pray for someone you wanna punch sooooooooo hard.......but its what Christ has called us to do "Love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you"


I feel that, because she opened up and told me all this, that it is part of the recovery process, but I still feel that she can use all the prayers she can get, so please continue to remember her in your prayers!
 

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certified tractor nut
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prayers sent
 

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Resident John Deere Tech
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thank you!
 

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Registered
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May God bless and comfort you all. I would suggest that she also share this with a counselor or clergy. She really does need to work through this with someone experienced in counseling. Talking with friends may help, but an experienced counselor will be able to share additional thoughts and insight to help her.
 

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Wheel Horse
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Wow. Sorry to hear. These things unfortunately happen alot now and goes unknown. We will remember her and you. I'd say it as hard on you too. Just take it easy and try and talk to her very easy. Good Luck with it!
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Thanks folks, this means so much to me!!!!!!

Yes.....it hit me pretty hard too........you know, you hear the stories, and don't think much of it, until you or one of your close freinds are the victim.......

It really hit me hard........I am a big, tough looking dude......6'2", 260lbs......but I was bawling like a baby late last night..........there's a big soft spot in my heart and this really hit it hard........really hard.......
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Oh, and I do have a bit of counseling experience.......I am a leader/conselor of my church's boys club for the past 7 years..........I just don't have any experience in the sexual abuse catergory.......
 

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Always Learning
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I encourage you to read up!
 

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that's a really sad situation and like said before, it happens waaaay too often without being known about. I'll be praying.
 

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Resident John Deere Tech
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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Thanks!
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
Thanks guys.....this really means a lot to me!
 

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Carefull with how much you try to talk bout this with her. She may feel "pressure" from you. She needs to talk to someone that knows where this could go.. You are being a great friend, i would hate to see that crumble due to trying to help and helping to much.. Its a very long road with what she has in front of her...
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
Thanks for the advice!

I have not talked to her about this issue with har since she brought it up.......

I just see her every day this week because she is helping out (as am I) at my church's Vacation Bible School........
 
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