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My poor cat "Puff-Puff" has taken a turn for the worse again,and this time I have little hope she'll rally and recover like she has several times in the past..

The past few days she has been staying in the kitchen next to the stove,where she has gone in the past when she's feeling ill,and despite me supplying her with multiple types of food and brands ,she's only eaten a small amount of tuna ,some plain,some with a little mayonaise,and only drank the juice from the can and some water out of the kitchen sink faucet if I put her up there..she has that "death face" look again..:tango_face_sad:

I do not have any money to take her to a vet,and the last time I did over 2 years ago in April 2017,the vet told me she likely had end stage kidney disease and didn't expect her to survive more than a few weeks,and if she got any worse to bring her back and he'd put her down at no charge,seeing I was barely able to pay the $220 bill to just give her some fluids and antibiotics

Well,she recovered and proved him wrong,and had been doing quite well for a cat her age,she has had a few setbacks,but recoverdd,I didn't think she'd pull thru,but she made a liar out of me..but this time,I think its not going to happen..:tango_face_crying:..she is just skin I bones and sleeps most of the time..
I'm praying she'll pass peacefully in her sleep.like my other cat did--she isn't showing any sign of distress or pain,if she does,then I'll have to traumatize her by taking her for the "last ride" to the vet..she will likely die of fright going there,she freaks out every time I've had to put her in a carrier and drive her to the vet..:tango_face_crying:



Of course this has kept me in a state of emotional distress,and I have been having heart trouble in recent weeks,on top of several other ailments--this is only making it worse..my heart has episodes of pounding irregular beats ,makes me very nervous...I have not had any real chest or arm pains though..but something is "not right"..

I have also been under a lot of stress ,my roof was supposed to be fixed this week,but rain and high winds have kept the roofer from being able to do it yet--and I have been told the funding for heating oil assistance has not yet been granted,Nov.1st is when it normally goes in to effect--my oil tank has maybe 5 gallons left in it,and I have been dumping diesel fuel in it 5 gallons at a time to get by for a few more days..I must go get more today..

I cannot afford to buy 100 gallons of oil out of pocket and still be able to pay for the roof & chimney repairs,after paying the $1200 property taxes last week..(the minimum I can get delivered without paying a $50 surcharge)..been freezing at night,having the heat shut off,and only hot water being heated by the furnace to conserve the oil..my wood stoves cant heat the whole house,and I'm not really up to chopping and hauling more wood...and getting up to add wood every hour..they also adversely affect my lungs,I have asthma..

I had to wear a "heart monitor" for 24 hrs last week,to see if the irregular heart beats and palpitations could be recorded and diagnosed--I have yet to hear about the results,and while I was wearing the device,I had NO symptoms.

I walked thru an 80 acre salvage yard with it on,did all my usual activities,no symptoms..but the day I returned the monitor,they returned!..and I've had them daily since then..
My body is like the car you take to a mechanic because its acting up--but while the mechanic is riding in it,it acts perfectly normal..

One of the little suction cup sensors had come off me sometime during that 24 hr period too,so the test may not have worked for all I know.

An EKG done at my doctors office last week previous to the monitor showed nothing out of the ordinary,and he said my heart sounded OK,but the symptoms come and go,and anxiety or stress ,or exercise seems to be what brings it on..

Last thing I need is to lose my cat now..she is the only comfort and companion I have ...she was my late mom's pride & joy,and my last "connection" to her I had..

I have already dug a grave for her in my backyard over 4 years ago,the first time she got deathly ill,in case she passed during the winter..had to use a pickaxe to chop the frozen dirt when my other cat died in 2014,in December,just before Christmas..

I will not get another pet--I feel it is unfair to the pet if your unable to afford to pay for the outrageous vet bills,food,etc, and take good care of it..and I'm not emotionally stable enough to deal with another loss..it is bad enough my siblings are all older than me except one,and I may well have to face losing one of them in the future..I have enough things to worry about..
It's just been a crappy year overall,nothing has gone well..
 

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Sorry to hear this. Wishing you the best. It's hard, but another pet deserves a loving him where he/she can feel safe and loved.
 

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I failed to post an update..

Puff-Puff passed away on Nov. 2nd,sometime between 9 and 10 am that Saturday morning..she had been in a coma like deep sleep for over a day ,and I knew she was doomed..the look on her face was horrifying,like she knew she was doomed too..:(

The vet I called said Friday he'd put her down if I wanted to bring her in--but also said "she may just pass peacefully at home,and sometimes that is better than them having to face the trauma of their last ride"...he knew Puff hated being put in the cat carrier and driven anywhere..

I agreed,and didn't want to put Puff thru that horrifying "end"...not that I would have been emotionally able to deal with driving 10 miles there to begin with..and I had no one else that could bring me to the vet..

I went in the room and would sit with her every hour or so all that time,and had to listen to hear if her heart was still beating..about midnight the night before was the last time I know she realized I was with her--she wasn't able to get up or move,but she did make that "kneading" motion with her front paws while I petted her,like a kitten does to its mother while nursing..I guess it was her way of letting me know she knew I was there..


Early Saturday morning when I got up,she was still in the same position,and I knew it wasn't going to be long before she died...In a way I was hoping she'd have passed already,but she was a tough little trooper,having cheated death several times in recent years,even the vet was shocked to hear I still had her!..

While I was listening to my TV on the music choice channel about 10 am that morning of the 2nd,I heard Vince Gill's song "Go Rest High On That Mountain" come on,and I went to check on Puff,and she was dead,no heartbeat..:(...

I had put a crude "coffin" together the day before and now I had to face one of the saddest chores of my life--bury her in the grave I'd dug long ago..

I made a little cross out of electrical conduit to mark her grave site...

Puff was over 18 years old,far as I could determine--my mom had a picture she took of her dated July of 2002,and she wrote on it "Kitty-Kitty" at 10 months old..so I assume we got her right around 9-11 in 2001,but I could swear we had her longer--my dad passed away in april of 2000 and I thought I remembered him telling me to "take the cats off my bed so I can sleep" and I'm pretty sure she was one of them..but my memory might be wrong..

She was a beautiful snow white cat with gold eyes..the photo of her I found,I tried uploading to my computer ,but I suck at doing that ,and though I was able to use my digital camera to take a picture of that photo,it somehow uploaded to some format I cant seem to get to post in a thread..I don't like Windows 8.1,I cant do half what I could in XP ,I'm just no good at computers..


Her latest pictures I took just before and after she passed,are not pretty--she'd lost a lot of weight years ago,only weighed about 4 lbs when she died--at one point after the vet said she was doomed in 2017 ,she had recovered a lot and weighed over 7 lbs..

She did pretty well right up until the last week or so,when she didn't eat ,no matter what I bought for her,even tuna and her other favorites--she acted like she wanted to eat,but just take a few bites,then stop--she'd paddle in her water bowl and tried to drink,but she'd just end up backing away from it..my attempts to feed her with a syringe and give her water with an eye dropper wasn't a success either..

It has been very sad without Puff Puff around--it really hit me later that day after she died,when I came home from visiting a friend,and walking in the front door,and she wasn't snoozing on her blanket on the couch,it was gone,so was the step I'd made so she could get up on the couch..I bawled like a baby...:(

--I had cleaned up the entire house earlier,gathered up all the newspapers I laid down in the hallway,emptied the litter boxes,and vacuumed the whole upstairs..and found about 50 cat toys,I'm sure there are 50 more scattered all over the house I'll be finding for years also,behind the furniture and appliances...

Now every time I come upstairs and see the "changes",I get very sad,and am not ashamed to admit I've burst into tears dozens of times since she passed,after being so accustomed to having her around for so many years..

She was a family member,not "just a cat"..she had a sweet personality and was a very good kitty overall..and everywhere you look in the house,there is a cat knick-knack or some other reminder,my mom bought lots of cat related stuff like that..

I most likely wont get another pet--not just because I don't want to deal with another loss,but the fact I cant afford to care for one ,vet bills are expensive,so is food,and all the rest involved with being a pet person..I'm on a fixed income,and the responsibility of keeping a pet was getting tougher for me to do in my condition..

Also the house has had a lot of damage over the years from cats scratching the woodwork,the furniture,and at least one room will need to be either completely emptied of furniture and the carpets professionally cleaned or replaced --both cats I had snuck behind the furniture and soiled the rugs when they were sick..that is a chore I most likely cannot do myself..

I now can feel free to go places and stay away for as long as I want without the worry of who'll feed or care for the cat too...but I'll miss Puff Puff as long as I live..

its getting so only those with deep pockets can afford to have pets...vet bills rival human doctors bills..I spent well over $1000 on vet bills trying to keep Puff alive the past 6 years..I do not regret that--but I cant do it again either..or deal with losing another member of the family..
 

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TH, my sympathy for the loss of your cat. Our pets do become like family members and always add a spark of life in our world. It is heartbreaking when they die and I too have gone through enough of it to not have a pet any longer.
 

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It's tough when we lose one of our pets... Take care, man.
 

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TH, condolences on Puff Puff passing. Know what you are going thru. Have had dogs and cats all my life. May the good Lord comfort you and I'm sure Puff is waiting on the other side of the "rainbow bridge".
 

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My sympathies. I (we) had to put our beloved Boston Terrier down a little over a year ago. He helped me through two bouts of cancer and multiple various illnesses. He greeted me every night when I got home from work. I grieved more at his passing than I did my Dad.

My wife and I have an agreement that we will NOT GET ANOTHER PET until I can be certain that he/she will outlive me. But, that's unfair to the beloved pet. So, I guess that means no more pets!
 

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So sorry to hear of your loss. It is hearbreaking. I am saddened deeply when we lose one of our cats but I don't think that I will ever be without one. Even though it hurts, it is a small price to pay to bring comfort and happiness to the little friend.
 

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There is nothing like a young puppy or cat to help replace the hole left in your heart, but I fully understand your reasoning for not wanting to go that route.
Many years ago, my German Shepard wiped out our neighbor's Pekingese. He had good reason to do so, but this life is about people, so I had him put down. He wasn't a mean dog, was VERY obedient, and great with kids (my wife operated a day-care). I said then that I'd not get another 'til I had acreage for him to run rather than the 45 foot lot I had at the time. That took 43 years before I got my 12 acres. My Black GSD is the seventh I've had since here. I love my big boys!!
 

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