I thought you guys might like a funny story - MyTractorForum.com - The Friendliest Tractor Forum and Best Place for Tractor Information
Look what I Broke Today Discuss your latest damage or vent about what you have destroyed...

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
post #1 of 1218 Old 06-16-2011, 03:21 AM Thread Starter
Senior MTF Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 496
I thought you guys might like a funny story

I have a funny story you guys might like.

I came home from work the other day and my step son Timmy was working on his truck.
The truck is a first class piece of crap, I told him not to buy it but he did anyway, everything in the world is wrong with it and he doesn’t know anything about cars.
He was going to crank it but the starter wouldn’t run, he said he has to hit it with a hammer to jar it sometimes
He walked around to the front of the truck and started beating on the ALTENATOR! I yelled Timmy what are you doing, he said “isn’t that the solenoid”
I said NO it’s the alternator!
He said “that is what I have been hitting to make it start“
Scott Wells is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 1218 Old 06-16-2011, 03:26 AM Thread Starter
Senior MTF Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 496
Re: I thought you guys might like a funny story

Another one I thought of was a woman I saw at the service station once, the attendant told me he had sold her a quart of oil and she pulled down in the parking lot and went under the hood and had been there for about thirty minutes, he was wondering what she was doing.
I decided to go ask if she needed help

By the time I got there she was nearly finished pouring the oil down the dip stick tube.
I tried to tell he there was an easier way but she didn’t believe me.
Scott Wells is offline  
post #3 of 1218 Old 06-16-2011, 01:30 PM
Senior MTF Member
 
CedarView's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: MO
Posts: 512
Re: I thought you guys might like a funny story

so you met my sister....
CedarView is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #4 of 1218 Old 06-16-2011, 02:10 PM
The voice of reason !
 
ranchkingron's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,720
Re: I thought you guys might like a funny story

Thanks for the chuckles Scott, I guess it's up to us to educate the masses or at least pass on a little advice ?

The funniest one in recent memory is my Finance's friends husband telling me his van was low on power steering fluid (it uses ATF) so I gave him a quart and finished mowing.

After getting done (30 minutes later) I walked over and asked him if it needed more and he tells me it's not the trans that's low, "OK? so what, did you fill up the power steering pump ?" NO he says I need power steering fluid !

It took me 15 minutes and showing him his owners manual before he got a clue, and the promise that if it damaged his van I would pay for the repairs.

Now I don't blame people for not knowing about some manufacturer's using ATF for the steering pump but having, to prove to them that the owners/service manual recommendation isn't a typo or some scam to bilk you out of money is way past being dumb !

Sometimes I wonder what people will do if they don't have a guide/manual to help them along the way, and even then it sometimes doesn't help.

BTW this is the same guy that ask if I could make a copy of a movie for him then gave it to his wife who had the kids (they drove separate vehicles) so that if the police pulled him over he wouldn't go to jail for piracy, nice huh ?

Ron

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Sigmund Freud
ranchkingron is offline  
post #5 of 1218 Old 06-16-2011, 10:33 PM
15,000 +posts!
 
Tractor-Holic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: MA
Posts: 19,155
Re: I thought you guys might like a funny story

One of my friends took a part time job at a self service gas station years ago...sat in a booth and collected the money and turned the pumps on,that was ALL he was supposed to do....and he did!--until one dark night an old lady came in ,driving her Dodge Dart...said "can you please look at my oil??--I think I need oil in my engine,and I dont know how"...he said he wasn't supposed to leave the booth for any reason,and she about cried,so he felt bad and relented,--it wasn't busy,no one was watching--why not??..

He has her pop the hood latch,and he finds the dipstick,pulls it out,and sees it is almost full,so he tells the lady "your oil level is fine!"--and she thanks him..he goes to put the dipstick back in,and gee,its DARK in that engine compartment!--he fumbles around for awhile,trying to poke the dipstick back into the tube,and missed it completely,and the end of the dipstick ends up touching the starter solenoid terminal,which has the positive battery cable attached to it,and ZAPPPP!..a shower of sparks fly out everywhere,and now the dipstick is turning bright orange!..he looks at the lady,then at the parking lot,and sees his boss pullimg into the lot,and he slams the hood shut ,and tells the lady "its all set--GO,thats my boss over there!--I'll get fired if he sees me under your hood"!....and off she drove into the darkness,with an eerie orange glow coming from under the hood of her car...


I wonder if she ever made it home??......

Another night he saw an older woman putting GAS in her radiator!..he ran over and yelled at her to stop,and she yells right back at him--says "Dont tell ME where to put my gas,,MY EX HUSBAND told me thats definately the GAS cap!....

He backed away and RAN to the booth,and called his boss,and told him what she did,and NOW what do I do??..he says "Eh--just walk away from the pumps when she starts it up--far enough so you wont go "boom" if it decides to blow!--we're insured!...and the fire extinguishers will put it out anyway...
....he quit that jon about a week later...


Tractor-Holic is online now  
post #6 of 1218 Old 06-16-2011, 10:58 PM
The Admin from... Nowhere
 
littletractorguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 13,454
Barn
Re: I thought you guys might like a funny story

So, when we were all MUCH younger, my older sister used to drive my dad's second truck, a '74 AMC J10... This was RIGHT after she got her license, in the mid-eighties... So one night, about 2:30 am, she calls home.. "Dad, the truck won't start!" So out he goes... Even before he pops the hood, he can smell the boiling battery acid.. The battery is done like dinner... Turns out the regulator went, and the oversized alternator had been pumping 60 amps into it for who knows how long... "Didn't you NOTICE that little gauge with the plus and minus on it was ALWAYS over on the plus side, ALL the time?!?"

Well no... So, after the new regulator goes in, and my sister gets the big lecture about watching her gauges, she gets back to driving it.. And she's TOTALLY conscientious about watching her gauges... Fast forward a couple of weeks, to another late night telephone call...

"Dad, the oil pressure gauge says 0, what should I do?!?"

"Stay right there, DON'T go anywhere, I'll be RIGHT there!"

Out he goes again, gets to the truck, pops the hood and (by flashlight) checks the dipstick... Hmmmm.. Oil level is fine... Gets in the truck, turns the key, it fires right up and the oil pressure gauge reads fine.... Hmmm... After thinking for a moment, he asks her,

"So... When you looked at the oil pressure gauge, was the engine RUNNING?"

"Um, no... Was it SUPPOSED to be?"

(TRUE story, I kid you not!)
littletractorguy is online now  
post #7 of 1218 Old 06-18-2011, 03:15 PM
Senior MTF Member
 
crazy wheel's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Missouri
Posts: 101
Re: I thought you guys might like a funny story

So you get a phone call from a young person,
and they tell you they have a flat tire,
and ask if you can fill your air tank and bring it over.

And you do as they ask. When you get there and you mention that the tank has a hundred pounds in it........

And they reach in the back of your truck to grab the air tank, pick it up with one hand, and say

"It must of all leaked out, cause its awfully light"




true story.......
crazy wheel is offline  
post #8 of 1218 Old 06-18-2011, 03:34 PM
Tractor addict
 
BillTheTractorMan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,857
Barn
Send a message via MSN to BillTheTractorMan Send a message via Skype™ to BillTheTractorMan
Re: I thought you guys might like a funny story

Awhile back when I was showing my little brother the ins and outs of my 1970 Sears SS12 I told him where the fuel valve is and told him that when ever the engine is not running to close it. Well I decided to test him a little later on (10 minutes) and I asked him if the fuel was on.... He replied "nope, there's no light coming from the tank"..... But he did have the fuel valve closed.


One time grandpa asked him if the tire was full enough and my brother answer "no!! Are you kidding me! The side of the tire is not flat.".... Mind you this is an OLD tire.... So more air went into the tire and he asked again.... Got the same response. Two seconds later it sounds like a gun went off and grandpas laying on his back 4-5 feet from the tire and my brother is laying on his stomach covering his head with his hands. I yelled up the hill "is it full yet!", that set my brother off crying as he got up running into the house. He was only 5 or 6 at the time.


Couple days ago I showed my brother how to test the electric fence that I put in our garden. I showed him to use a screw driver and to look at the light in the shed to see if it was blinking or not. I turn my back for no more than a second and he's yelling "ow!... OW!... OW!!!!..."..... He grabbed it to see if it would actually shock the rabbits that sneak into the garden at night...



Sears GT group (suburbans/customs/etc)
http://www.facebook.com/groups/101589189889692/
Growing website for user based uploads about Sears tractors. (file sharing, forums for posting and reading guides, etc)
http://www.mysearstractor.com/
BillTheTractorMan is offline  
post #9 of 1218 Old 06-18-2011, 03:50 PM
2000 Posts and climbing!!!

 
89YT12's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Squaw Valley, CA
Posts: 2,816
Barn
Send a message via Yahoo to 89YT12
Re: I thought you guys might like a funny story

oh man that reminds me when i was in high school we had a crazy teacher and she was talking about how her car had a strange rattle to it, one of the guys in the class said, oh thats your muffler bearings..... with out missing a beat i was like, yea that sounds about right ........ she was mad the next week because she went to a shop to have them replaced

Jason "J"

89YT12 is offline  
post #10 of 1218 Old 06-26-2011, 04:21 PM Thread Starter
Senior MTF Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 496
Re: I thought you guys might like a funny story

I have another one.
My step son (the one with the alternator) called me at work me to tell me something was wrong with the lawn mower(John Deere L120) He had started the engine and it sounded terrable.
He held the phone to it so I could here.

I TOLD HIM TO TURN OFF THE CHOKE!!!!

It ran fine after that.
Scott Wells is offline  
post #11 of 1218 Old 06-27-2011, 01:05 AM
Senior MTF Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: IN
Posts: 102
Re: I thought you guys might like a funny story

This is a little OT so I hope you all don’t mind.

My neighbor we going to grill out but he did not have enough charcoal to do it. He asked me if he could barrow some from me. I said sure no problem and walked over to my kindling and gathered up an arm load of oak and soft maple sticks and said here you go. He got a dumber look on his face and said I can’t use wood. I asked him why not? He said because you have to use charcoal. I asked what do you think charcoal is made from. He gets a serious know-it-all face and says coal.

By the way I only use wood in my grill I have no way of knowing what is in charcoal that should not be there.

Garden tractors attachments are like Pokémon for men you got to collect them all.
TEOTWAWKI is offline  
post #12 of 1218 Old 06-27-2011, 01:53 AM
I have G.A.S.
 
helixhippie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: North Alabama
Posts: 1,567
Re: I thought you guys might like a funny story

I had a neighbor once with an old Dodge Dart with a slant 6. The temp gauge was running high as she got home so she popped the cap off & put the running garden hose in the radiator. Too bad she confused the oil cap for the radiator cap......

I had a friend in school who rebuilt the carb on his Chevy Vega & right after that, the engine seized. Laughed my azz off when I figured out that he had hooked the windshield washer hose to a vacuum port & simply hydro-locked it.

I'm a "Heuristic Engineer".
helixhippie is offline  
post #13 of 1218 Old 06-27-2011, 04:25 PM
Make Smoke, Boil Water!

 
Steamguy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: In the windy Columbia Gorge area of Washington, the state
Posts: 1,578
Re: I thought you guys might like a funny story

My brother is seven years older than me and thinks he knows everything, even though he doesn't know much about cars. He's one of these idiots that drives with one foot on the gas and one on the brake. We're driving in my dad's pickup somewhere and it's running as rough as it could possibly ever run and still be turning over. I noticed that he had the choke full out, and went to tell him. He informed me in no certain terms that I was full of <something> and to shut up. We came to a stop sign and as soon as he pushed in the clutch, it of course quit. He tried about half a dozen times to get it started, all with the choke still full out. Finally he's ready to give up, so I tell him to scoot over, I'll get it going and get us there. After a bunch of expletives, I said, "Quit telling me you know what you're doing and shove over!" I jumped in the driver's seat, shoved the choke in, spun her over a few times with my foot on the floor to clear the flooding, and away she went. He started to say something, and I told him, "Just let me drive it there," and took off quick before he could get out.

When I was mechanic at the gas station, we had kids with air shocks coming in all the time to fill them up. We always made sure to tell them that there was 200# in those hoses, and to be careful. Got sworn at by some smartypants with a Nova. "Okay, just trying to help you out." I saw him just holding down the air valve, so I got out of there. There was this giant BOOM! and every window in the place rattled. I saw the body settle down right onto the tire, but the kid got into it and drove it away anyway...

Steamguy

Always do the right thing; not because it's easy, but because it's harder.

It's always a pleasure to work with good tools and the BX2370 is amazing!

Avatar: My father-in-law's Reeves Cross-Compound. It was sold in 1971, from Day, Minnesota. If you know where it is, I'd sure like to know.


My blog. I try to add wisdom, not noise.

Steamguy is offline  
post #14 of 1218 Old 06-28-2011, 10:51 AM
Proud Member of the 1K Club
 
Tall Grass's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Heredia, Costa Rica
Posts: 1,759
Re: I thought you guys might like a funny story

Quote:
Originally Posted by BillTheTractorMan View Post
Awhile back when I was showing my little brother the ins and outs of my 1970 Sears SS12 I told him where the fuel valve is and told him that when ever the engine is not running to close it. Well I decided to test him a little later on (10 minutes) and I asked him if the fuel was on.... He replied "nope, there's no light coming from the tank"..... But he did have the fuel valve closed.


One time grandpa asked him if the tire was full enough and my brother answer "no!! Are you kidding me! The side of the tire is not flat.".... Mind you this is an OLD tire.... So more air went into the tire and he asked again.... Got the same response. Two seconds later it sounds like a gun went off and grandpas laying on his back 4-5 feet from the tire and my brother is laying on his stomach covering his head with his hands. I yelled up the hill "is it full yet!", that set my brother off crying as he got up running into the house. He was only 5 or 6 at the time.


Couple days ago I showed my brother how to test the electric fence that I put in our garden. I showed him to use a screw driver and to look at the light in the shed to see if it was blinking or not. I turn my back for no more than a second and he's yelling "ow!... OW!... OW!!!!..."..... He grabbed it to see if it would actually shock the rabbits that sneak into the garden at night...
Did the electric fence deal with a kid down the road. His family were Devout Baptists(nothing against Baptists) and thought they were better than everyone else and he didn't mind telling you that and everything he had was better than mine. I got him to whiz on the electric fence. He flopped on the ground for awhile and then went home and never came back over. I guess i proved who was smarter. I thought it was hilarious.
Tall Grass is offline  
post #15 of 1218 Old 06-28-2011, 11:53 AM
10K and Climbin!
 
WNYTractorTinkerer's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: New York
Posts: 11,836
Barn
Question Re: I thought you guys might like a funny story

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tall Grass View Post
Did the electric fence deal with a kid down the road. His family were Devout Baptists(nothing against Baptists) and thought they were better than everyone else and he didn't mind telling you that and everything he had was better than mine. I got him to whiz on the electric fence. He flopped on the ground for awhile and then went home and never came back over. I guess i proved who was smarter. I thought it was hilarious.
Hmmm-> TG, did you learn that trick from persnal experience??


Experience is something we get.... right after we needed it!!


Can You see the Real me?
WNYTractorTinkerer is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Options

Register Now



In order to be able to post messages on the MyTractorForum.com - The Friendliest Tractor Forum and Best Place for Tractor Information forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.

User Name:
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.

Password:


Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.

Email Address:
OR

Log-in











Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode



Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome